As I was writing this post I very quickly realised that there is far too much to cover in a single post, so this post will serve as the start of an ongoing mini-series where I’ll talk about my experiences with health anxiety over the last 20 years!
In this post I’ll discuss what health anxiety means to me, the impact it can have on those around you and the journey I’ve taken to get back on the right path.
What is Health Anxiety?
Health anxiety for me is an unhealthy obsession with every aspect of my body and health. I’d over-analyse every little detail and be hyper-aware of every ache, pain or twinge. For me, my anxiety would even extend to health-related concerns outside of my own body, for example I’d switch the radio station if an advert came on for a cancer charity and there is no way in hell I could watch any medical dramas on TV!
What Impact Can It Have?
Anxiety, in any form, can have a huge impact on those around you. I’ve put my family and loved ones through untold stress over the years. I am very lucky to have a supportive network in my friends, family and partner; and I’ve always been very open about my struggles with anxiety which makes talking to them about it easier.
As with many forms of anxiety, when it gets really bad it totally takes over your life, every waking moment is spent worrying that something is wrong. This can make it incredibly difficult to focus on work, to form meaningful relationships with others and can lead to people retracting from things they usually love doing.
You can put on a brave face for the world, but have a serious battle raging in your head. Every interaction, every e-mail written or phone call answered could be exhausting for you.
And let’s just mention all the crazy habits we end up doing when we get anxious. I could write a book on the weird things I’ve done! Imagine sitting on the loo checking your heart rate for the 100th time that day :D
It may seem, as it did for me, after 20 odd years of suffering (quite badly at times) that you’re destined to deal with it for the rest of your life. Believe me when I say I felt that way, there is no way that if you had told me 4 or 5 years ago that today I’d be 3 years without any anxiety-related issue that I’d have believed you.
Not a chance.
But, here I am 3 years with barely a single issue. It still feels like a miracle to me (and I’m sure to those around me!).
My Journey Back
Here’s what got me back on the right path. This isn’t medical advice and you should consult your GP or Doctor - like I did, before you do anything.
A little over 3 years ago I had to undergo surgery for a minor complication after a car accident which was causing me issues with exercising. As you can probably imagine, this was a terrifying experience for someone with severe health anxiety. After my recovery, I was still having issues and my anxiety was getting much worse as a result of less exercise. I went to my regular GP and said “I just can’t do this on my own anymore, I need some help”. Up until this point, I had always been against taking medication - I hated the name “antidepressant”, it just sounded so negative. But I’d gotten to the point where I knew I needed something to help lift me out of the depths.
This decision was the beginning of my road back to happiness. As though she’d been waiting for this moment, my GP started me on a low dose of an SSRI medication. For the first few days I felt a little weird and a bit nauseous but I stuck with it, and within 2 weeks I (and those around me) started to notice a difference in my mood. I was happier, worrying less and some of my symptoms of persistent anxiety were going away.
Within a few months, it was like I had been reborn as this motivated, ambitious, happy person. It is still remarkable to me that I feel the way I do now.
I incorporate anti-anxiety techniques and well-being practices into my daily routine which help keep me on a good level. I firmly believe that I needed that medication to pull me out of the deep hole I found myself in, I look at it as the helping hand or leg up I needed to get back on the right path.
What Should You Do?
First of all, there’s no magic silver bullet - I know, wouldn’t that be wonderful! But, you don’t necessarily have to be looking at months or even years to get back on the right track.
It takes a certain amount of self-belief that you can drag yourself out of the depths. From the experience of feeling completely hopeless, that is no small feat. But take it from someone who has been there, there is light on the other side (and it’s worth the effort).
Here’s a few of my tips:
- Admit to yourself that you might need some help - there’s no shame in it
- Find yourself a GP that gets you, someone that you can specifically ask to see (I went private)
- Tell them how you’re feeling, what the journey has been like and be honest!
- Listen to their advice
- Keep an open mind (you might not want to take medication, but is it worth a try rather than feeling the way you do forever?)
- Don’t just rely on medication, adjust your lifestyle positively as you start feeling better (exercise, get outside, do yoga, laugh and socialise - these are all great for your mental health).
Final Thoughts
The one thing I want to leave you with is this:
I promise you, no matter how long that battle has been raging in your head, it can get better.