Sharing honest personal stories is a fantastic way to help normalise mental health conversations. They help reduce stigma and show that everyone is going through their own battles, whether small or mighty. Remember, you are not alone!
For someone who is dealing with mental ill-health, one of the most challenging aspects of anxiety is knowing who to talk to and how to talk to them. How often have you thought about turning to someone, sharing your concerns, but didn't want to bring them down, ruin the atmosphere, or appear like Little Miss Glum?
For someone who isn't dealing with mental ill-health though, one of the most challenging aspects of anxiety is not being able to understand how the other person could possibly be feeling so anxious and why they're reacting the way that they are.
Let's put a real-life spin on this shall we?
One evening I'd been out for dinner and drinks with my partner and another couple. We'd had a few cocktails, some laughs and my partner had enjoyed the evening getting to know my friends. Win Win right? Win Lose actually.
You see, in amongst all the joviality and drinks, I had worn new shoes which were tearing my feet to shreds and I had left my jacket in the bar. Now, in the grand scheme of things, you'd think these are pretty trivial issues, and you'd be right. But throw in some unexpected anxiety, and all common sense and rationality went out the window.
I felt the attack starting to come on during the train journey home and being in public, I couldn't hide away and deal with it in private. All I could do was manage my emotions, my breathing, and my tears as best I could. Fast forward to walking the 10 minutes home from the station in bare feet, carrying the shoes that I can only imagine were made by the devil, and hysteria kicked in. Yes, I still have these shoes, and, no, I will never wear them again.
All I could do was manage my emotions, my breathing, and my tears as best I could.
As soon as we got home, I let it all out. It was such a release. I crumpled on the bedroom floor, burst into tears and couldn't catch my breath. Hyperventilation kicked in. My heart rate went up. My hands and legs started shaking. I was a mess.
But what made it worse was that my partner doesn't suffer from excessive anxiety. If he was any more laid-back, he'd be horizontal! Not only did he not know how to deal with a crying wreck, rocking on the floor, he didn't know how to deal with the anxiety, the attack, the symptoms. No words, no actions. Not anything helpful anyway.
Borrow an ear
Finding the right person to talk to is a powerful thing. It can feel like the bravest thing you've ever done, sharing your panics, worries and concerns, and knowing the person listening has your back is undeniably amazing.
Sometimes we feel guilty, selfish or a burden for speaking out. But not speaking up can do more harm than good. You may find your salvation through a therapist, a friend, a family member or someone at work. Whoever it is, you may not need them to give advice, you may just need them to listen. Bottling up will magnify the problems. Does the saying "making a mountain out of a molehill" sound familiar? Sometimes, this will be the case, but sometimes, a problem shared really is a problem halved.
Not speaking up can do more harm than good
My partner may still not quite understand how I can wake up one morning and feel “meh” before I've even gotten out of bed. But he's a little more sympathetic and supportive now. He knows it's who I am and there will be good days and bad days.
Oh, and I know you're still wondering what happened to the jacket. Well, I emailed the bar and they posted it back to me free of charge! (Not really worth getting upset about, was it?). But that's the "funny" thing about anxiety. It can hit you when you least expect it.
Share Your Story!
If you have a story to share, we'd love to hear from you! We're happy to post anonymously too.
Send your story to hello@companion-health.com.